BLOG — REVIEWS

MAN OF STEEL

This trailer looks AWESOME. Superheroes should be total badasses. Why has it taken movie studios so long to understand this? Look at the Nolan Batman franchise, total badass. Now look at the last 4 Spiderman movies, complete weak sauce. Anyone could walk up to Spiderman and slap him across the face and feel like they could get away with it. No one is trying that shit with Batman. And from the look of the trailer, we may finally get the badass Superman we've been waiting for.

THIS IS THE END

This looks funny in the same way a Saturday Night Live skit looks funny at the start, but then 30 seconds into the skit you've lost interest and it drags on for another 3 minutes. But, the reviews on this movie have been overwhelmingly good, so maybe they've kept the best stuff for the movie and not blown all the funny on the trailers. 

THE BLING RING

Did this really deserve to be made into a movie? Talk about your First World problems. A bunch of middle, no scratch that, upper class kids get caught stealing from even richer kids. Does that even remotely sound like something you'd want to spend $15 on watching? Didn't think so. Maybe it's good, but we'll never know because we'll be watching Superman kick some ass this weekend. Because that's what movies are supposed to be, a 2-hour escape from reality to somewhere fun, not an overblown news story from TMZ.

THE INTERNSHIP

This trailer isn't selling us on this movie. It looks forced and formulaic. That said, there are tons of movies that follow a formula and are genuinely funny so let's not give up all hope on this movie. We need more great comedies and we can't keep putting this burden on Will Ferrel, Will can only do so much and its unfair of us to put Will on this pedestal of greatness of which he most definitely belongs and can do no wrong. We love you Will!!

THE PURGE

How does one day of violence solve the issue of crime? That plot point alone is enough to want to see this movie. The only thing that looks weird, is that if crime is allowed on this one day and there are no repercussions then why would you wear a mask? Let's assume that everyone at some point (probably at Halloween) you've worn a mask. So you know how intrusive they can be to your overall peripheral vision. And that's the last thing you want to happen when you're in a poorly lit house with guns and knives is to not see your opponent. Sure it looks cool and scary but that's not going to do you any good when you trip or bump into something. So remember, function over fashion. That's your tip of the day.

VIOLET AND DAISY

This movie hasn't been blessed with the best reviews, but since we're basing our review on the trailer, it looks pretty OK.  Sort of a Boondock Saints meets Leon: the Professional. And that would be one really great recipe for a movie. And that's how a lot of movies are pitched. It's Toy Story meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Boom! You know you want to see that movie. That's it, give us some paper we just came up with cinematic gold and we now we need to write our Oscar acceptance speech.

For some of the big movie releases you see ads for on TV there will be all these great one word reviews like, "Stunning", "Suspenseful" and "Amazing", but when you pause the DVR and look at who has given the movie such glowing reviews they all come from one guy who gave it the only good review. So they get that one guy, to give the movie an incredible review and then they cut up his review to make it look like six good reviews.  But they put his name so small hoping you won't look closer to see that. This is your warning. Don't be fooled by this, or get blinded by the four star reviews, they don't tell you it was out of a possible ten stars.

We are going to review movies by their trailers, rather than the entire film, because face it, the trailer is always better than the film.

After Earth

We have high hopes for this, but the curse of the Shyamalan lingers over this film. Beware. Your best hope is that when you get popcorn they pull it from the machine that just started popping. Sometimes good fresh popcorn can make any movie better.

Now You See Me

I think the best review for this movie was Morgan Freeman falling asleep in the middle of a TV interview about it. You too, might be better off getting some sleep than going to see this. Plus Eisenberg? he's the worst. I just want him to play villains so i can cheer for his demise.

The East

This is your best bet for the weekend, the trailer looks good, has got a good cast of actors. Don't waste your time with the others go see this.